A General Reflection of 2014
2014 was a transition phase for me. Maybe because I didn't have any substantial problems or anything new to worry about it. This gave me the opportunity to create my own adventures and try new things. The stress I felt this year came in small doses and chipped slowly away at my resolve. Even then I wasn't too anxious. I've had a glimpse of adulthood, which is exciting. Yet, there's a part of me that feels like I've been a bit selfish. I've lived like "hakuna matata" and enjoyed not dwelling on the small stuff, but that doesn't mean my friends and family had nothing to worry about. I am obligated to be concerned about my well-being and everyone else's, but honestly I'm not as much as I should be. 2014 was the year I lost my sense of urgency.
I've finished my sophomore and started my junior year at NC State University. I've gone on road trips with old, new, and good friends. I've seen and met some of my favorite bands like Fall Out Boy, The Maine, and Sleeper Agent. I got to experience the behind-the-scenes of planning and working a concert and even had an internship. I also started the fashion blog that's always been at back of my mind. I think I've realized how much I've missed out on life after 2014. I got the independence I wanted and took advantage of some of the things life offered me. Obviously there is still a lot that I missed out on being a recluse in college, but better late than never.
As for boys, well, I've been living in a bubble when it comes to boys. I've been single, and I'm okay with that. There's points where I wanted to experience a relationship, but those feelings are fleeting when I'm focused on myself. On the bright side, I haven't had to deal with any heartbreaks or boy problems. Other than Ryan Gosling having a baby, but even that is superficial. I've helped my friends wade through their experiences with boys, and I feel like I should be content that I don't have to deal with all that drama.
I've left my teen years permanently, but I don't know if I should be excited. 20 is that allotted year where you can act like a teenager while you figure out how to be an adult. It didn't really hit me what 20 really means until I went into Bath and Body Works to return something. The associate asked me where my parents were because, you know, she assumed I was too young to be returning something. I looked at her like she was crazy for a second and said "I'm 20." It's so weird to say now. There's no teen added to it or any other number. I'm just 20. It's a bittersweet feeling, knowing that I'm growing up.
2014 left me with no reason to feel anxious about life. I've kept myself busy with things and started being my own person. I don't feel as flustered about meeting people or stressed about meeting deadlines. I've just been going with the flow and not worrying about what's to come. As cliche as it sounds, being present has given me a different perspective. Maybe it's not the best way to live, but it worked for me in 2014. We'll see what 2015 brings in blogging, in new experiences, and in the general discourse of my life.